Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Man Thinks, and God Takes Care of Things


العبد فل تفكير والرب فل تدبير 
("el 3abd fil-tafkir wel rab fil-tadbir")
It's been ages, I know. Life has just, well, been busy. I guess that's a good thing...sometimes. School is out, summer has started, and oh the wonderful joys of making summer plans. It's one of my least favorite things about the summer, especially as a single mom. 

Well 2011 has been an interesting year to say the least. But the one thing that has probably impacted my life the most: the revolution in Egypt which started Jan 25th. All I can say is...wow, I still don't believe it ever happened. It's a great thing for the Egyptian people, to finally have a voice. To stand up and no longer be afraid. I'm loving the new page the Egyptians have turned, and I can't wait to see how Egypt blossoms, even though it may take a long time. The trick is to stay positive - we have to stop continuously thinking about all of the challenges Egypt will face, and just take things a day at a time. Haha, don't worry, I'm not going to go into politics...

So you ask what does Egypt have to do with my post today? Well, lots :) At least as it relates to my summer plans! Summer plans - it's one of the joys of being a single mom. And unfortunately, this year, I admit, I am so not organized when it came to summer plans for the kids. Of course it applies to any working mother (especially the ones where dad is around as well and is also working)...but making summer plans is a pain in the A$$ (sorry ;) ). Growing up, it was such a blessing to have mom at home. Mom didn't work until I was in my high school years, and when she did return to the work force, she had decided against working in her field of engineering and decided to pursue education on the side. And that was convenient for the summer - that meant mom was home, no summer camps required, and Egypt in the summer for 3 months was on the agenda!

Egypt was all about family, friends, and fun. I don't think I ever had to worry about a thing except of course for hilarious Arabic lesson sessions with Teacher Saber who managed to eat the entire plate of brownies before our very eyes without sharing ONE (I guess brownies weren't very well known in Egypt yet, because he sure did enjoy them!). But back to the post...summer meant sleeping in and being lazy and just having fun.


Previous summers were a blessing - my mom goes to Egypt every year and took my kids with her. Along with my younger sister's help, she managed to organize Arabic lessons, swimming lessons, tours of famous places in Egypt, and of course, BEACH TIME at our chalet. It worked out perfectly - the kids get a chance to learn more about their origins, they learn a little bit more Arabic, they actually have a "real" summer vacation and an exotic place to talk about once school resumes, and of course, mommy (me) gets a nice break :)



So back to the revolution in Egypt...

Summer in Egypt + Revolution in Egypt + kids who need to stay busy = not a very good combination :) 

It just wasn't a viable option this summer, which meant, mommy (me) has to make summer plans for kiddoes. And mommy (me) doesn't get her annual break. Eeeeeks....You're probably asking where dad (ex) is in all of this - I'm not going to vent or talk much about it, but let's just say, dad (ex) isn't taking his one month summer rights. End of story. Which means mom (me) has to do all of the planning. And planning for me = a ton of thinking. I spent months looking at camps, calculating how much it was going to cost me (Egypt tickets suddenly started looking so cheap!), writing dates down on papers, losing the papers I wrote the camp dates on, and then started all over again. Endless cycle. I was not organized. At all. How was I going to make sure my kids had a proper summer where they weren't waking up every morning at 7 am just like school to get ready to go to wherever they were going? How will I set it up so that they are actually getting a break or getting to sleep in or me not worrying about packing lunches or getting to the daycare on time? I know it sounds crazy, but my sons told me at the end of school: "Do we have to go to camp? Can't we just sit at home and sleep in and just get to be lazy? Why do we have to wake up early? We just want to stay home!" Boy, that made me feel so guilty, but what choice do I have? I have to fully financially support these kids, which means I have to work! So what to do? 

Overwhelmed. 

Lost.

Had no idea what to do.

And the stress kicked in - along with all of the other wonderful stressful things going on in my life. And that's when I decided, you know what, I'm going to just take it one week at a time and go from there. I'll do what I can and leave the rest up to God. And wow, what a difference that has made. What a relief. And, on it's own, the June and July schedule worked itself out. Between camps, grandma/grandpa (rabbina yekhaleehom), friends, working from home, and an occasional babysitter, it has all worked out. Alhamdulillah (thank God). And all that's left is August - and you know what - I'll worry about that when we get there :) I'm sure God will open the needed doors, inshaAllah (God Willing). And you ask what mommy (me) will be doing to get her annual break? Let's just say I've planned a nice weekend trip on my own somewhere, hopefully a few more will come, just to keep my sanity :) But I'll stop thinking about it and just let things happen! And it just doesn't apply to summer plans - applies to everything else in life too. Now, if only, I can get myself to believe that....

Because as the saying goes..."Man thinks, and God Takes Care of Things"

2 comments:

  1. Radwa, I absolutely love how raw and authentic you are to your experiences. I love how you articulated yourself and I felt every feeling (said..and unsaid!). I know exactly what you are going through and I wish I could give you a hugggggggge hug right now. I'd tell you this: You are not and never were a victim (and not saying you sounded like one in your writings either. I'm affirming the obvious from your beautiful energy! :). You are one of the strongest people I know and by virtue of your perseverance and beautiful smile on your face, know that you are proving to yourself just how strong you are.ISA things will turn around but life will always have it's obstacles. Know that this degree of strength you are putting forth each day will be your inspiration to whenever you find yourself weak and tired in other situations. You've raised the bar for yourself on how much you can endure and how we should manage conflict. Keep writing ya Radood. It's liberating you. Keep moving forward wa tawakily 3al Allah :) Bed3eelik :) Love ya woman! ~ Mon

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  2. Amazing entry! Every time I read your blog I want to pay attention and take notes. I feel like you are five steps ahead of me on a long journey, and you are demonstrating how this road can be traversed with grace, strength, and class. I am impressed by your astute realization that in the end it really is out of our hands and yet you also strive and put forth effort. I too am making an effort to adopt this
    attitude, and it is soooooo difficult to do! You are inspirational. I truly feel blessed to know you and to be able to count on your voice on the other end of the line when I am just about to LOSE IT during this crazy process! Keep the blogs coming!

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